Se Ri Pak's Tour Diary

As originally written by Se Ri Pak for Joong Ang Ilbo. Translation by LoveGiants

Diary Entry #15: Impress the Feeling of the Loser

Now that I've won 2 (Major) events in succession, I always bear the wretched loser in mind. Especially since I'm trying to win 3 major events in a row at the Du Maurier Classic, I've made up my mind never to be a loser. The reason father took me to a dog fighting ring might be to show me both the triumphant winner and the wretched loser. When I would miss a cut, father took advantage of it as an opportunity to remind me about the feeling of being a loser.

In 1992, at the Lyle and Scott Open, I competed with famous professional golfers like Jae-sook Won. I won the event. So I decided to participate in the Seoul Women's Open, though I was not prepared for it. I was keyed up with the victory at the Lyle and Scott.

The Seoul Women's Open was going to be held the very next week after the Lyle and Scott Open. Many world class players were to participate in the event, so I was anxious to play against them. I thought that to play with such famous golfers as Ok Hee Ku, Jae-Sook Won, So Ra Shin and Judy Dickinson was a great break. And I expected to be within the top five. But unexpectedly, I did not make the cut. Nobody can imagine how I felt at that moment. I felt ashamed. Just a couple of days before, I had been the focus of all the press.

Father was even more shocked than I. That day, father and I could not return to Yuseong. The next morning, father woke me up early and took me to the Plaza Golf Club where the event was held. I felt like a cow being taken to a slaughterhouse.

Father made me follow the last place players. Father said, "You are the loser, you are even inferior to them. Watch them play closely." He looked like he had at the dog fighting ring. To watch an event where I could not make the cut was torture. I said to father imploringly, "Now I've watched them enough, let's go back home." But father got much colder: "You should watch the event to the end, so that you can impress the feeling of being a loser on your mind."

I had to suffer the torture again later. It was at the 1994 Tomboy Women's Open, which I had won the year before. That was a feeling of great shame. "I've endured all sorts of insults to make you a golfer, but is that all you can show me?" father asked. I practiced putting through the night and fell asleep exhausted. The next morning, I came to the golf course and impressed on my mind the wretchedness of the loser.

In the US, I drained the cup of sorrow, missing the cut last year in the Jamie Farr. That night, I practiced putting about 1000 balls. Whenever I miss the cut, I lash myself into fresh exertion. That may be the motivating power of my victories.

Diary Entry #16: Father's Tricks

While playing golf, sometimes I get perplexing results. For example, the ball does not fly as far as I expected, or it falls into some bad places. At those moments, I try to make myself comfortable, imagining that father is playing a trick on me again! The reason why I remain calm and at ease during tournaments comes from thinking this way to some degree. When my game is annoying, I control myself thinking that it's just father's trick, instead of being annoyed.

When I would practice on a course, father secretly moved my balls from here to there to encourage me to practice harder. When I was a middle school student, I played practice rounds at Yuseong golf club. I was so innocent that I was frequently deceived by father. Yuseong golf club has many hills, so from the teeing ground, I would not see where the ball landed. He took advantage of this. He would arrive at the place where the ball had landed sooner on a scooter, and then move it. When I was too confident about my game, he would move it to a bad spot. He did this to teach me, "Do not become overconfident." However, when I was depressed, he moved it to a better place to encourage me. "Excellent. You are my daughter, no one is better than you."

In those days, I recorded scores in the sixties a couple of times. Those low scores even professional golfers could not record easily. He thought that to record sixties during the tournament, one needed to experience recording sixties during practice, so he moved my balls to give me the chance.

When I would hit balls triumphantly, he moved them into divots or the rough. "It's strange, when I hit the ball, I really felt good." When I would mutter to myself, he would say, tapping me on the head, "I said, don't get conceited." He pretended he had done nothing.

One day, I hit the ball with the driver really well, but the ball did not go far. The distance was shorter by 30 meters than I expected. I shook my head with doubt, and father came to me and scolded, "Is this all you can do?" He told me to practice driver more. I wondered why the balls landed in unexpected places for a while,
but I could not even imagine that father would have moved the balls.

One day, I looked at him with doubtful eyes. Maybe he thought that his trick was a bit too much, so he made a quick remark to get out of the situation. "Well, you'd better quit practicing now, how about some grilled duck?"

Grilled duck is a special dish father devised for me. First, he digs a hole, fills it up with pebbles, then puts a grill on them. Duck grilled this way is not fatty at all. I used to eat it up.